When people are struggling with the disease of addiction, they do things that go against their actual values. For example, people with substance use disorders (SUDs) may steal, lie, abdicate responsibilities, and perform other harmful behaviors that hurt others. Making amends is part of recovery and requires recognizing you’ve harmed, taking responsibility for your actions, providing evidence of change, building trust, and repairing relationships. One of the ways you can learn how to make amends is by participating in a family therapy program while in rehab.
Making amends during recovery is a critical stepping stone to a healthy life after addiction. The Right Step Houston offers a supportive path to recovery through the 12 Steps, complemented by individual and family therapy. Together, these tools empower you to restore your health, rebuild balance, and reconnect with your true self.
How Addiction Affects Relationships
When someone develops a dependence on a substance, their main focus often shifts toward obtaining and using it, sometimes overshadowing other priorities. This means that they can no longer think about or prioritize the people they love, including their parents, children, siblings, friends, colleagues, and anyone who was once important to them. If you’re seeking to end the cycle of addiction and return to health, you’ll need to make amends to those you left behind while in the throes of an SUD.
Some of the ways your addiction may have negatively affected your loved ones include:
- You lied to them about your actions, including harmful actions you took as a result of your addiction.
- You stole from them to support your habit.
- You failed to fulfill your responsibilities to a spouse, child, or parent.
- You abandoned them.
- You abused them physically or emotionally.
The harm done to children by addicted parents can be the most difficult to mend, as the trauma can be formative. Making amends can heal those you hurt, though it can’t change what happened. Rebuilding relationships damaged due to addiction will take time and can be difficult, but it’s worth the effort.
How Does Making Amends Work?
You make amends not for yourself, to feel better or get rid of guilt, but for the person you harmed. You’ll learn to acknowledge your wrongdoings without conditions or thoughts of what you’ll get out of it.
Working with a therapist can help when preparing to make amends. Plan your approach and be as prepared as possible, but understand there’s no way to control outcomes or guarantee specific results. When you make amends, remember to:
- Respect boundaries – We recommend making face-to-face amends, but you may not feel ready to meet in person.
- Be honest – Your honesty is about yourself and your actions, not anything they’ve done. No one is perfect, but when you make amends, their actions do not affect what you say to them. Admit and take full responsibility for your past misconduct.
- Do no harm – Think through what you’ll say. The one exception to total honesty is if that honesty could cause further damage.
- Listen – You’re not the only person who’ll speak. Being a good communicator is listening openly and without defensiveness or judgment. If the person to whom you’re making amends wants to say things to you, listen well.
- Don’t rush the process – Just because you’ve met with them and made amends doesn’t mean everything goes back to how it once was. Rebuilding trust takes time, and making amends is a vital first step in that process.
You’ll not always be able to make amends—and that’s okay because it’s up to the people you hurt whether they want to see or hear from you. But don’t worry—you can move beyond your past actions even if you cannot make direct amends. It’s essential to leave the past behind and forgive yourself.
Enroll in the Family Therapy Program at The Right Step Houston Today
Maximizing the quality of your life after addiction is often greatly affected by the work you do for yourself, and that’s something that doesn’t stop after rehab. The therapy, practice of skills learned in treatment, making amends, and proving sincerity through actions can help rebuild relationships.
Contact The Right Step Houston by calling 1.844.768.0169 or using our online contact form. You can begin your recovery today. Let us help.